Friday, May 27, 2011

Montreal: Five Guys

how many guys does it take to make a burger?

:Old Montreal:

I'll make this quick because I’m not necessarily recommending this place. I'm not going against my "no bad reviews" motto, but I was so confused I had to say something.

This burger chain has been Zagat rated every year from 2001 to 2010. They have a wall of accolades and stores across the US and a few in Canada (including one at Vaughan in Toronto).

The fries were okay, nothing special. Brits were better. The burgers, while I confess I didn't try them, also looked unspecial. Yes, I'm making an assumption based on something I have never tried, but I just told you I was doing that.

I hear this place is a go-to for American families, what does that mean?  Like Monday to Thursday is McDonalds and then they go all out Friday night for this...I don't get it.

My working hypothesis is that the public likes the attention - the attention from the critcs via all the ratings and the acutal tactile attention their burger receives.  What do I mean you say?  Well, it seems to me that each burger is touched by at least 7 people? Ewww, I think that's yick, but that's how many people were working behind the counter, 9 if you count the two cashiers. I really don't get that. I have never seen so many people in the kitchen. My sister and I were AWED by the inefficiency. It took us 14 minutes to get our fries.  Course in those 14 minutes my sister told me all about Lainey Gossip (again...she's told me multiple times to go read it...I'm just slow to listen).  She was convinced I would love her because a lot of what she says and thinks is exactly how we see things.  Par example, Miss Lainey can't stand Jennifer Aniston - ohemgee, neither can I.  I also can't stand people who say ohemgee.  It's odd to have so much hatred for such trivial things, but I do, I really do.    

When I got back to Toronto this past Monday I logged onto this gossip site..and as embarrasing as it is to admit...I stayed up until 2 am reading this girl's smut...she is hilarity and sass rolled up into a ball of I-don't-give-a-f*ck.  I LOVE IT.  Thanks were right.  Now, back to Five Guys...

Would it be rude if I said it's like a how-many-blondes-does-it-take-to joke? 
It kinda, sorta is.
I don't get it, so I would not eat it.

1 comment:

  1. Can't speak for the one in Montreal but the one in Miami is reallyyyyyy good.

    Sure there's a gang of people working behind the counter but only two actually touch the burger: one "guy" who flips em on the grill, and another "guy" who puts the toppings on. Typical no? Besides, they wear them sanitary plastic bag glove joints.

    Speaking of the toppings they have ones like grilled onions, grilled mushrooms, jalapenos, etc for no extra charge. Kind of reminds me of In-N-Out "Animal Style" burgers, which I'm also a fan of, but even better.

    A caveat: I don't pay attention to the Zagat ratings or anything, I actually just stumbled upon this spot while walking back to my hotel in Miami at 4am. As such, I may have been just a tad inebriated at the time which might have perhaps influenced my initial thought that "HOLY SH*T THIS IS THE BEST BURGER EVER!"

    Btw they just opened one at Eglinton and Warden but I've yet to try it...

    A.C. (Slater)


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